Personal Blog


Thinking of my love...

August 28, 2021

  Today's been an ok day. Wasn't much fun getting out, lots of people out, gas stations had lines of people waiting to pump  gas and Walmart was crowded as usual. 

   Saw the weather and they're saying there's a Cat 4 hurricane supposed to hit Sunday. That's a pretty bad storm. Hopefully it moves fast...

   Bored at the moment, but don't really have the energy to do anything and still have a nagging headache. Part of me wants to go chill at the park, the other part of me is too lazy to drive, lol.

   And these hurricane phone alerts are driving me nuts. 

   It's dead quiet in my apartment at the moment and suddenly my phone sounds a loud emergency sound with a hurricane warning alert message making me jump about tossing my phone to the floor. 😐 Thank you weather people, I know after the 20th time already as well as thank you for the free at home heart evaluation test.

   I'm kinda just in a blah mood today and this evening. I'm dreading tomorrow and I miss my love πŸ˜’...

   ...I wish I could cuddle up to him right now, see his smile, caress his gorgeous face and feel his warmth, just feel him...

   "Underneath the same moon", he always says when we aren't laying next to each other... But he is my moon, my beautiful light and my god does he shine, does he glow, so beautiful, so exquisite, so extravagant, so radiant, so angelic, so heavenly... He's just pure beauty...

   I love him so much! And no one could ever tell me angels don't exist, because they do. To me, he's an angel, my earth angel with earth eyes so beautiful I get lost in them every time I look into them, yet found at the same time. His heart is beyond beautiful, beyond words. He takes my breath away.

   I find myself staring at him when he's not looking, I can't help myself, I'm memorized by him, in awe of him and he's so incredibly handsome that I'm just taking him in, every feature, every line, so perfect, so lovely. And I get caught looking at him, lol, he'll turn and see me staring, but I try not to get caught cuz I don't want to seem weird or annoying just staring at him, lol, and I don't constantly stare, lol, I just look over at him every now and then and just can't bring myself to look away.

   I have loved, but never so deeply as I love him. He is my heart and the only one I have ever felt home with.

   I think my heart knew when we first started talking before I even knew, that my heart belonged to him.

   ...I miss him right now, a lot...

   You know, he makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world, to be loved by him, to be held by him, to be kissed by him, all if the above. He's amazing, such an incredible wonderful man and I love him so very much.πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°

      His eyes hold a world within them

      Of evergreens and autumn browns

      Of ocean shores that surrounds

      His perfect earth I'm looking in

      

      His lips that smile so perfectly

      That speak so sweet and tenderly

      His kiss that melts my centerpiece

      His embrace is where I'm most at peace


      So lovely does his heart beat

      Its lullaby easing me to sleep

      He's more beautiful than the sunrise

      Holds pure heaven on the inside


      He is love and he is beauty

      He is grace and he is heavenly

      He is courage and he is strength

      He is truth and he is purity


      He is the love that gives me wings

      I take flight as my heart sings

      He is my love he is my heart

      He is my home I don't wanna part.


   Not the best poem, but just what came to mind at the moment thinking of him.

   I guess I should find something to do, I've made this post long enough.

   Until next time, I hope you smile.

 

Just thoughts...

August 27, 2021

  At times I wish I could shut my mind off. It constantly runs on thoughts throughout the night, sometimes just random dumb things, sometimes just to do things, then life things, etc...

   Last night it felt like my mind was on full speed, more than it's hamster wheel, more like two squirrels fighting over an acorn and I kept tossing and turning, getting up, walking outside for some night air, scrolling my phone, tossing and turning until finally I fell asleep into some very unpleasant dreams....


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Morning coffee & thoughts...

August 23, 2021

  Mmm, coffee β˜•... Gotta have the coffee in the morning.

   Past couple of days have been good. Yesterday was really good πŸ₯°.

   Sitting in my thoughts this morning before work enjoying a cup of coffee. I'm scheduled for the area I loathe, 😩, but hopefully I can get put somewhere else and if not, either way it be a good day and the day will go by fast.

   Only got a couple hours of sleep. Couldn't sleep and had a couple of nightmares. Just wasn't a peaceful night's sleep. And waking up to...


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Keeping a positive mindset...

August 18, 2021

  Sun is up, definitely looking hot af out, but it's mid August, so it's expected.

   I slept good last night, of course cuddled up next to the comfort of my love πŸ₯° and waking up to him is always wonderful and makes my mornings wonderful.

   Those Folgers commercials are wrong, although coffee is one of the best parts of waking up, a good cup of coffee, mmm, nah, for me, the best part of waking up is next to my love πŸ₯°, seeing his smile and a good morning kiss πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°, melts me.

   Chi...


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Disappointments are a part of life...

August 17, 2021

  Today's going good other than my anxiety is up. Been shaky for the past hour. Probably caused from the past week caught up to me.

   Finally got some sleep last night and this morning. Felt so good falling asleep cuddled up next to my love πŸ₯°. Especially after a rough afternoon and evening at work.

Got stuck in an area I loathe after lunch, dealt with some assholes then some other issues at work and to finalize my evening get told I didn't get the position I was hoping for πŸ˜’. It just all...


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Determined to make today a good day...

August 16, 2021

  Was up all night last night, but got a little over an hour of sleep this morning, so better than nothing, but no doubt I'm gonna be pushing through my shift today. I hate closing shifts, they always feel longer than morning shifts.

   Looking forward to my day off tomorrow, it's been a long week and the exhaustion has caught up to me. I'm just not in the mood for customers, but I'm determined to make this a good day.

   No matter if the day before was shitty, I still like to wake with the min...


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Better evening

August 15, 2021

  The evening isn't going that bad, work has been busy, but not bad. Had a few asshole customers, but you get those. Had a few customers that cracked me up, so enjoyed that.

   Looking forward to tonight, finally going to get to cuddle up to my love. I've missed him so much and I could use his comfort and his smile. To feel I can breathe and relax and feel at ease and I always do with him.

   Sitting outside for my break like I always do, juul life, just staring at these piles of cat food, old ...


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Stressed

August 14, 2021

  Today hasn't been going any better than yesterday. Sucks ass. I'm just tired, stressed, aggravated.

   I wish I could take the day off. I've been shaky today and just trying to breathe and hoping I don't have an anxiety attack. Trying not to think about it. 

   I can't afford to miss any work, lose any hours, so I'm not, just gonna have to deal with it the best I can and get through today.

   I hate closing...

   Too bad I couldn't be put somewhere where I didn't have to deal with customers for...


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Shit day...πŸ˜’

August 14, 2021
   I'm so tired and frustrated today. Today has been literal shit...
   I'm exhausted, I miss my love, I'm frustrated, just feel like I'm suffocating today...
   Just want today to be done with πŸ˜’...
   I just wanna breathe...
   I just wanna go cuddle up next to my love and just breathe him in and feel the ease and comfort of his presence...
   But, I can't be rude to the company I have...
   ...God I miss him so much...
   Fuck, break times already overπŸ˜‘πŸ˜’ Time to get back to work.
   ...*Si...

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It's back to work

August 12, 2021

  Yesterday was a good day. It's back to work today. Tired though, didn't get any sleep at all last night, so hopefully the day will go fast and there won't be any stressful people to deal with cuz I'm just not up for it, especially when I'm supposed to be scheduled at.

   My friend's still down visiting which has been cool. I've enjoyed her company and we've had some good laughs.

   She knocked out fast asleep from being up most of the night, lol. Kinda wish I could go to sleep right now, but ...


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