Personal Blog


Dreams...

January 22, 2021

  Do you ever sit and think about dreams you've had? Do you ever wake up from a bad dream and it affect you into not wanting to go back to sleep in fear you'd dream it again or dream of something worse?

   It's silly to think about it, the way a dream that isn't real can fuck with your mind and emotions. But it does.

   Sometimes I wish I was like those people who never remember their dreams. Although I want to remember the good ones.

   Bad ones that hold things in life that have happened yet are welded together into a dream that things aren't real are the craziest.

   I had a bad dream tonight/morning and now even though I'm tired, I'm wide awake avoiding going back to sleep.

   I hate those types of dreams. Especially when the dreams have hurtful memories. 

   And the worst dreams are the vivid feeling ones.

   I'm laying here listening to the rain. It's soothing. Sleep can kiss my ass, lol, think I've had enough of that for one night/morning. I've functioned plenty of times on only a few hrs just fine.

   The rain brings comfort in a sense. Yet, I've lost my smile for now cuz my mind's trying to erase the images.

   It's supposed to rain all day. I'm good with it. Off work for the day so don't have to get out in it.

   Not sure what the day will hold, but hopefully it'll be a good day.

    As always, I hope you smile today.

 

Listening to the rain...

January 11, 2021

  I'm laying here listening to the steady rain as it falls like a gentle kiss to the ground.

   It's soothing, comforting. Maybe not enough to help put me to sleep but I feel relaxed.

   It's after midnight, early morning and I'm wondering what the day ahead will be.

   I love the night rain. The world is asleep at 3 a.m. and it's quiet so all there is to listen to is the rain and nothing else. No loud voices outside your home, no traffic or horns beeping outside, nothing but the rain and I love...


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Awake

December 16, 2020
   Seems I'm always talking about not sleeping, but I don't always sleep well. Insomnia's a bitch, but I refuse to take any sleeping pills. I'd rather fall asleep naturally.
   No doubt I'm gonna be tired for work later with only getting 2 hours the night before and 2 last night . But that's what coffee is for, lol.
   Wasn't the only thing keeping me awake though. I've never mentioned it, but in the past I used to get bad anxiety attacks and then for the longest time I didn't have them until r...

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Love is a home...

December 9, 2020

  Just when you think things aren't gonna work out, everything falls into place at the last minute. It takes you by surprise and you feel the weight lifted. 

   I'm happy, I'm truly happy and filled with so much love. And I'm so very thankful, grateful, appreciative. 

   As I've always said, hope is a lifeboat and even though hope was slipping like the waves of the ocean crashing in and over the sailing boat, almost certain the waters would take you under, the waters of the ocean calms, the dar...


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To love...

December 4, 2020

  Life has a funny way of punching you in the gut. I ask for nothing in this life but to love and to be loved. Nothing else matters. Not the material things, not the time of day, not the location, nothing.

   Without love in this world, life is meaningless. Without love is a world in constant shadow. A sun that may shine but is dull and dim, a rain that falls but is utter darkness, a rainbow without colors, a spring bloom of wilted flowers and lifeless trees, a summer of burning earth, an autu...


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Taking in the night...

November 25, 2020

  Yep, it was one of those nights I couldn't sleep a wink. But, I enjoyed driving around a bit then sitting at the park looking at the willow trees and giggling at the ducks as they wobbled around.

   My thoughts were all over the place for a while, but I focused on the sounds of the ducks, the night crickets and the sounds around and it restored my peace.

   Nature has a gnarly way of doing that. And I was glad I forgot my ear buds so I had no choice but to just listen to nature's sounds.

   I ...


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Going for a night drive...

November 25, 2020

   Feels like one of those nights I'm not gonna sleep. Not surprised, I have many of nights like these. I could easily take a Tylenol PM, but I don't like relying on pills. I'd rather fall asleep naturally.
   Of course the hamster wheel is at full speed and I'm probably overthinking a lot of things, but sometimes you can't shut off thoughts and you have to let them roll until they're dead and gone or something else enters the mind.
   I may just go for a drive to clear my mind. Haven't done ...


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Perception

November 21, 2020

  Stand beneath the moon and be still for a while. Breathe in the night air...

   Ask yourself, what are you grateful for today and in your life?

   Push the bullshit and negativity aside. Focus only on the positive for the moment and take it in...

   Sometimes we let the negativity override the good. We get lost in what isn't or hasn't gone right instead of what has. We lose our peace that way. We lose ourselves.

   We're human, it happens, but challenges are essential for growth. There is no sh...


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Sleepless nights.

November 19, 2020

  My eyes are heavy and I'm tired, but I can't seem to fall asleep. But that's nothing new. I've had insomnia for years. If it wasn't cold out, I'd probably go for a drive for a while then maybe sit at the park by the pond as my thoughts keep to its hamster wheel. I'd watch the willow trees dance in the breeze and watch the ducks wobble around and giggle at how funny they look.

   The crescent moon was sitting high in the sky earlier this evening when I sat outside during my break at work. I l...


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Fear is a self built prison, never let it win...

November 17, 2020

  Do you know what's the beautiful thing about love? Love has no distance. Even when at times in life you can't be together in person with those you love, it is never far. For love is in your heart which means they're always with you.

   I miss him, but he's with me, in my heart. 

   Life's challenges are a part of life, and we must all face them. Sometimes it separates us from those we love, but we live to conquer them and find our way back to each other. Love is powerful and I've mentioned th...


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