Personal Blog


Just one of them days...

October 29, 2020

   I woke up with a smile today at the thought of someone I love. A beautiful start to the day.
   As the day progresses, I'm finding myself feeling down. Just one of those days I guess where thoughts and people punch at you to the point of heaviness to where you're physically tired and drained.
   I wanna smile but I lost it today; I wanna laugh, but I don't have the energy at this moment. I crave an embrace but I'm at work and I can't dip out until my shift is over. It's just an off day kind of feeling that I hate.
   Usually during my lunch break I find comfort sitting with the trees and looking up at the sky, but the trees and the sky feel dull today.
   ...The day just feels dull...
   Even music that usually lifts my mood seems dull.
   The sun shines but I crave the rain, I crave the thunder.
   I'm the type of person that makes it a priority to find the positive out of each day, no matter how much negativity is around, but I'm only human and some days I lose sight of it, like today.
   And what's tough on days like these is dealing with customers and putting all my energy into presenting myself happy, smiling and making their experience as good as possible. I hate the masks but I'm glad on days like these cuz I only have to smile with my eyes. But then again, not so easy.
   I just feel blah today...
   And maybe this isn't an uplifting post, but hey, I'm not gonna pretend to be anything or anyone other than I am. And those who pretend to be perfectly happy every day is bullshitting because everyone has down days. I have no shame in it nor should anyone else. Sometimes we need uplifting ourselves and can't always be the one uplifting others, even though we try. And I will always continue to try because if I can at least make one person smile, it means the world to me even if I can't smile myself on some days...


 

...Life...

October 25, 2020

  ...Life... we can live for years or die tomorrow. We never truly know...

   A coworker of mine passed yesterday. She was young, full of life, spunky, a firecracker. We weren't best friends, but you get to know people working side by side and you become friends in the workplace over time. 

   You would never think a very young mother of 2 little ones would pass so quick and out of nowhere. Especially someone who brings positivity and life to those around them, but it happens every day.

   I lai...


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Underneath the moon...

September 27, 2020

  I love the night, so much more than the day. I love the peacefulness. The day seems so crowded full of strangers creating noise of things they have to do, places they have to go.

   Work was extremely busy yesterday. Kind of one of those days where you had enough of people's bullshit and you just wanted to get away from their noise, their madness.

   The moon is bright and I'm staring at this beautiful oak tree outside. God do I love trees. You can't see the vibrant colors at night as you do ...


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Heaven

September 24, 2020
   There is a perfect heaven in a perfect hell. The world is its own hell, a world of chaos, yet I see heaven in his eyes, feel heaven in his touch and hear heaven in his heartbeat. So don't tell me heaven doesn't exist, that death is the only way to go there, because let me tell you, heaven is in life and the love that embraces you.
   Don't tell me heaven is a place above the clouds, because heaven is in the trees, the flowers that bloom and the grass that grows. Heaven is invisible yet visi...

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The Simple Things Matter

September 23, 2020

...The simple things, they go a long way. Like a simple touch, a simple glance. I cherish those moments, oh do I.

   As I've mentioned many times, tomorrow is never guaranteed, but what you take with you from today matters. The simple things matter. The beauty and joy in the simple things are what makes life grand and I appreciate every moment.

   Hold onto the smiles, the simple touch, the simple breath and all the goodness your heart can hug, hold it close and smile big. Because that is a tou...


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When it rains...

September 22, 2020

   It's been a while since I've posted anything here...
   It's been raining the past few days, but I love the rain. Yesterday I sat out during my lunch break and felt the cold seep in my skin. I can't stand the cold, but I wanted to feel the cold rain, the cold in the air. Sometimes it makes you feel alive, wakes you up in a sense.
   Yesterday I smiled, for reasons and then for no reason at all. I just sat thinking about life and just my appreciation for it. Ups, downs, pains, happiness, lo...


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What are we doing today to improve our life that we didn't do yesterday?

September 4, 2020

     ...What are we doing today to improve our life that we didn't do yesterday or the day before or even a year ago,?...

      I asked myself that during my lunch break yesterday. 

      It was hot sitting outside, yet I found a sense of peace sitting beneath the trees, watching the leaves flutter and branches move to a few slight breezes.

      I wake today asking myself the same question.

      Sometimes it's easy to let things get to you and then there's days things really sink in and it sink...


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Self

August 30, 2020

     I found myself at a loss tonight. Those days you feel low and the past memories sneak up on you and punch you in the face as well as current situations.

      I laid outside and stared up at the moon and stars for the longest time and lost myself in overthinking. Then I decided to get up and take charge of my thoughts.

      Of course there's no changing the past. You can't erase what you've done nor can you bring anyone back from the dead. But sometimes you miss people and sometimes it wr...


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Appreciation

August 26, 2020

  Sometimes you have to sit down alone with yourself and really think about life. 

   What is it that you're bringing in to your life?

   It's so easy to get caught up in the disappointments and not being where you want to be in life as well as getting caught up in other people's drama, especially when you can't turn away from the ones you love.

   We have to find peace within ourselves and to do that we must find appreciation for life.

   When we die, we can't take anything with us except the lo...


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Here & now...

August 21, 2020

...How did we get here? How do we get anywhere?...

   I found peace staring at the oak across the street. Peace in the sky and peace in the grass beneath my bare feet. Peace within my thoughts for once as beautiful was far too great to let anything negative in.

   I found myself smiling at conversations in the night, found warmth in a compassionate soul connecting to mine. I was alone yet I wasn't because when beautiful hearts and souls share their beauty with you, there's no possibility of fee...


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