Haven't written here in a while. Got me some journals to write in, so been doing that cuz I can be a little more personal there.
   Today's been ok. Kinda a slow day cuz of the rain, but it's been ok.
   At least it's not raining now so I can enjoy my lunch break outside.
   Kinda hoped my love would ask to spend my lunch together, but he's busy and probably enjoying some him time.
   Brought my knitting yarn and was planning to knit more hats on my lunch break but just don't feel like it at the moment.
   Kinda feeling a bit down. Just missing intimacy with my love, but I understand. It's tough though cuz it's been a long while...
   Kinda makes me a little sad at the moment and I'm holding in my tears so no one knows or sees my moment of nonsense.
   Was hoping he'd come on my lunch break with a big smile and us just sitting together in the truck until it was time for me to go back in. But it's ok, I don't wanna make him feel smothered by me and I want him to be able to enjoy some him time and relax on his day off.
   Been keeping myself busy at work even though it's a slow day. Cleaning my work area cuz it's been driving me nuts all the clutter everywhere.
   I wish I could move to a different department with higher pay and get away from the front end and all the bullshit that goes with it.
I enjoy my job, but the bullshit kills the joy.
   I really want to advance in this job, but just feels like with the way things are and the favoritism, I'm gonna be stuck where I'm at.
Feels like opportunities are only for the favorites, the click. Everyone else who isn't in their favoritism click just get shit on.
   I'm not happy at this job. The only happiness here is some of my coworkers who brighten the place up. But this area doesn't have much opportunities and I really wanna learn and feel successful and be given a chance to advance. 
   Talking to the higher ups here is like talking to a brick wall, they don't give 2-fucks about anyone but themselves. They see us as numbers clocking in and out and the accumulating paycheck they get from us working our asses off while they watch and criticize everything we do. Unless you're in their favoritism click and then you're free to do whatever the hell you want without consequences.
   It's not cool, not right and not fair.
   But I'll continue to keep trying, asking, bugging for advancement even if it doesn't come cuz I'm not one to sit back with expectations and no effort.
   I think I'm done talking for now and just gonna browse TikTok until my lunch break is over.
   ... Until next time, smile for me...