It's been raining the past few days off and on. I find the rain soothing...

   I stood out in it for a while and let my thoughts run its hamster wheel. 

   I closed my eyes as the rain fell against my face then I opened them and just watched the rain fall onto the oak across the street. I watched how the leaves were kissed by the drops of rain and how the drops bounced against the street pavement and then how the grass sucked it in...

   I thought of the things that troubled my mind then I cha...

   I lost my smile today... The sun's shinning, yet it feels dull...
   I wish it would rain. I wish it would storm, just so I could go outside and close my eyes and let it fall on me...
   There's good days and shit days...today's a shit day.
I just wanna shut down at the moment, turn my feelings off, turn my thoughts off.
   And I'm drinking... I drink cuz I enjoy it, other times because I'm hurt and just wanna go numb for a while.
   Today I just wanna go numb for a while.
   And I know, ...