Feels like one of those nights I'm not gonna sleep. Not surprised, I have many of nights like these. I could easily take a Tylenol PM, but I don't like relying on pills. I'd rather fall asleep naturally.
   Of course the hamster wheel is at full speed and I'm probably overthinking a lot of things, but sometimes you can't shut off thoughts and you have to let them roll until they're dead and gone or something else enters the mind.
   I may just go for a drive to clear my mind. Haven't done that in a while. It's nice driving at night, it's quiet with no traffic. And I enjoy the music drowning out my thoughts.
   Just feel blah tonight. My smile is gone, but it's no biggie, I'm a fucking warrior, lol. I have my days and or nights. Tomorrow's a new day and I'll get my smile back.
Mountains, rest then climb back up that shit and get that view!
   Ups and downs, that's life and sometimes you have to deal with your downs on your own. I never want to bother or burden anyone with my downs. People are dealing with enough, I won't throw mine on anyone.
   Not to say if I asked, they wouldn't be there, I know they would, but I'm strong, even when I'm feeling weak. Quoting someone I love here, "I got big shoulders" and I do. I've carried the weight of life and what people thrown at me for years and even though I've hit ground plenty of times, my ass gets right back up and brushes the dirt off.
People come and go, they promise to stay, they promise to love or care for you, they promise their friendships, their loyalty, they promise you family, their honesty and mostly all of them eventually fade and forget you. You become invisible and any love or caring is gone. But I'm ok with that, if people want to go, I'll hold the door open.
I'm not saying everyone in my life is like that, no, I have some lovely people in my life who I love and care dearly about who in return do me as well and I'm incredibly grateful for them. I'm just speaking on a general level here.
   It's just the thoughts that running through my head at the moment.
   Along with other stupid silly thoughts like,  if Tarzan mated with a gorilla, would it come out manilla? Then thoughts progress to more silliness Milli Vanilli, vanilla cake, why is pepperoni round, why did they make hotdogs look like a mini weener, how do people eat papaya when it smells like sunbathed hurl? Then next,, dirty jokes I'm thinking of sharing, and so on until my thoughts circle back to things I'd rather not think about.
   The mind is weird...
   Yea, I think I'll go for that drive now...
         ...Have a good night folks, I hope you smile. And if you can't smile, that's ok, tomorrow's a new day...