So many things are going through my mind at the moment...

Ah yes, the turn of the hamster wheel squeaking along, when it stops, nobody knows...

   I think of weird shit then thoughts about life. It's been kind of a mix so far today.

   And I've also got the random sound between my thoughts of, "HUMP DAAAY!" going off in the back of my mind thanks to my boyfriend this morning, lol, I love him, always got me smiling...

   I'm never gonna put personal things public, but I'm in my thoughts on how to go about helping some people and their situations. 

I don't get involved unless asked to help and I've been asked in a couple situations and I'm feeling like I'm being pulled in different directions trying to evenly help the best way I know how.

   The one thing I won't do is tell anyone what decisions to make or if it's the right one because we all live different lives and what decision one makes might be right for them but not be for another nor would I ever want someone coming back at me saying I told them to do something, nah, people make their own choices. Advice is a different thing.

   I've also felt pretty exhausted holding everyone up lately. Don't get me wrong, I will hold everyone up even if I have to do it from the knees cuz for those I love they will always have me and I will always catch the before they fall, but it can be exhausting at times and I'm kinda feeling it at the moment. 

   It's tough seeing those you love and care about hurting or in a dark place and I have multiple people there at the moment and some days are good for them, other days are hard and 9n those hard days sometimes I feel helpless because I just wanna take their pain, take the darkness and replace it with the sun.

   And it's easy to say words, tell the analogy of how a seed is buried beneath the dirt and it may seem dark, but over time, the flower blooms and it sees the sun and the sky.

   Words are easy, emotions, not so much and the struggles of life, doesn't make it easy on folks.

   I'm appreciative of my struggles life has thrown at me, I've learned to truly love and appreciate what really matters in life and not take it or the ones we love for granted. A place is just a place, but a home is only a home if it's filled with love. And items are just that, we like having them, but it's not a necessity.

   Although the world makes it to where we need money to live, bills gotta be paid and food costs money.

   .... Sitting here still in my thoughts and do you ever just look at the ones you love and just ask yourself or think to yourself of how lucky you feel or how blessed you feel to have them in your life?

   I'll stare at my children when they aren't looking and just think, wow, I gave birth to such beautiful children who've grown so lovely, strong, kind hearted and I am so damn luck to be their mom.

And I've stared at my boyfriend and also thought, wow, he's incredibly handsome, but, wow, how beautiful his heart is, his thoughtfulness, his compassion, his strength, his character, etc., and here I am with him, blessed to be loved by this man and to love him.

   Life can be a living hell sometimes, but we are blessed in so many ways if we just open our eyes and realize what we have in front of us.

   Even just walking outside and looking at the clouds in the sky floating by, the trees swaying in the breeze, we're blessed...

   And of course, some days are gonna suck ass, shit happens, but that's all a part of life...

    Think that's enough chatting for today. Time to be productive.

     Until next time, I hope you smile.