Today was a good day, I got to be with my love today while he worked. I really enjoyed it.
   Not feeling too good at the moment, a migraine has started. Hopefully the headache meds will ease it.
   The evening feels kinda down a bit. I don't like when my love is aggravated and I know it's nothing against me. Although I may have burnt the sub bread in the oven a bit. Made meatball subs, been craving them. Hoping the homemade garlic butter I made to toast the bread tastes good. Kinda just winged it.
   Kinda don't feel hungry anymore. My head hurts and heartburn just feels ick feeling. And I'm feeling hot and sticky which makes me more thirsty than hungry. But I'll try to eat cuz I don't want my love to feel he doesn't wanna eat or make him feel bad in any way.
   With the money being tight and bills as well as Christmas coming up, no doubt my love feels stressed as well as a lot of people this time of year.
   I feel bad I can't help more the way I wanna help. Ease the weight on his shoulders.
   I hope my kids like their gifts this year. I hope my boyfriend does too. I'm not good at picking gifts, but I tried the best I could to think of things everyone would like.
   Jeezus, next week is already Christmas...
   I hope after getting out the shower will help my headache and the night goes well. 
   ...I miss long deep kisses, the taste and the closeness. I wanna make the move after it's been a long while, but I don't wanna make him feel pressured if he's not ready for those kind of kisses again.
   I miss being touched, skin to skin, I miss laying in bed facing each other and just looking into each other's eyes, smiling, caressing my palms to his gorgeous face and feeling his touch. Feeling his soft chest... 
But I understand and I know it'll take time to get there again. It's just felt so long and I wonder if that intimacy will ever come back.
   I crave his move, to feel his want, his passion.
   But again, I understand and things in life just got in the way...
   I really did enjoy the day with my boyfriend. I enjoyed riding around with him, being with him while he worked and it got me excited when he asked if I'd like to ride around with him.
   I'd love for one day just us being out together, checking out antique stores, just getting out and looking at things, making a day of it when we're both off work together.
   It makes me happy to see my boyfriend working for good-hearted people and today I heard them tell him how appreciated he was and how it puts a smile on his face. You don't come across people like that very often and have that respect, appreciation and compassion from someone you work for. I'm really happy he has that. Hopefully someday I'll work for and with kind people like that.
   He's incredibly intelligent, knowledgeable and he's a hard worker. He's thoughtful, compassionate and puts everyone before himself.
   He deserves to be first more often. 
   I think him being aggravated this evening was just him running nonstop to get work done, getting things done for everyone else and having no time for himself to breathe and relax. Then losing his juul, losing money that fell out of his pocket and seeing my burnt bread just got to him a bit this evening and not catching a break. I made him another toasted bread, hopefully he likes it cuz he deserves to sit to a meal he likes.
   Here I am taking forever in the bathroom writing when he's downstairs waiting for me to finish showering so we can eat.
   I just needed to unload a bit.
   But definitely gonna end it for now so I can hurry and shower before it gets even more later and my love hasn't eaten today yet.
   Hopefully tonight will go great.
   ... Until next time, I hope you smile...