I woke up with a smile today at the thought of someone I love. A beautiful start to the day.
   As the day progresses, I'm finding myself feeling down. Just one of those days I guess where thoughts and people punch at you to the point of heaviness to where you're physically tired and drained.
   I wanna smile but I lost it today; I wanna laugh, but I don't have the energy at this moment. I crave an embrace but I'm at work and I can't dip out until my shift is over. It's just an off day kind of feeling that I hate.
   Usually during my lunch break I find comfort sitting with the trees and looking up at the sky, but the trees and the sky feel dull today.
   ...The day just feels dull...
   Even music that usually lifts my mood seems dull.
   The sun shines but I crave the rain, I crave the thunder.
   I'm the type of person that makes it a priority to find the positive out of each day, no matter how much negativity is around, but I'm only human and some days I lose sight of it, like today.
   And what's tough on days like these is dealing with customers and putting all my energy into presenting myself happy, smiling and making their experience as good as possible. I hate the masks but I'm glad on days like these cuz I only have to smile with my eyes. But then again, not so easy.
   I just feel blah today...
   And maybe this isn't an uplifting post, but hey, I'm not gonna pretend to be anything or anyone other than I am. And those who pretend to be perfectly happy every day is bullshitting because everyone has down days. I have no shame in it nor should anyone else. Sometimes we need uplifting ourselves and can't always be the one uplifting others, even though we try. And I will always continue to try because if I can at least make one person smile, it means the world to me even if I can't smile myself on some days...