It's raining yet again for the 5th day in a row. I love the rain, but not every day. 

   I'm sitting here staring out the window at this beautiful oak tree, watching the rain fall against its branches and its leaves as grey skies continue to hover above. I'm smiling, I had a wonderful day yesterday and my morning started out wonderful. Hopefully it will be a good day at work today, but I always go into work with the perception of it's gonna be a good day whether it turns out that way or not. Just my outlook on that and life in general; you have to keep yourself in a positive mindset of it's gonna be a good day and things are good.

   Sometimes people start off the day with the thought of the worst and I choose not to be in that mindset.

Sure, I have days I'm in dread of knowing I might have to deal with people's bullshit, but I don't go anticipating it.

   If the day becomes a shit day, it's just a day, tomorrow's always a new day and I choose not to let it get to me. Like I've mentioned in a past post, some days it rains, it storms, but there's always the guarantee that the sun will shine again. And I know, I've said it quite often, but the shit days make me appreciate the good that much more.

   I feel like that's how you have to look at life, the worst can happen, but sometimes the roads of destructive potholes and craters leads you to where you're going and where you're meant to be in life, to the people you meet, to the ones you love and to a place in life where you've gain strength and wisdom as well as appreciation for where you've come from, what you've been through and warrior you've become.

   My therapist told me not long ago that I've been a victim of the things that's happened and I've been through and no, I don't agree, I never saw myself as a victim of anything. I don't like the word "victim", for I sure as hell am not, I'm a survivor and I will always look at life that way, no matter what comes at me.

I may feel weak at times, tired, but I damn sure ain't no victim, I am strong, always a fighter and always will be.

   If you see yourself as a victim, you will be the victim and I don't look in the mirror and see that. 

In the past, there's been times life has hit me so hard it knocked the breath outta me and I felt like giving up because I was so tired, so drained of years of what's been thrown at me, but, victim?, hell naw, I picked myself up and thought hard. You learn to look at what you've overcome in life and you tell yourself, "If I got through that, I can get through this!" and you remind yourself that it's a moment in time to build strength. You can either let the world bury you beneath the dirt or you can let it motivate you, fuel you to keep going because life will never be easy, it's not supposed to be, but the beautiful things in life, love being the most beautiful, makes life worth waking up and finding out where the road takes you because you never know what tomorrow will bring, who'll you'll meet, where you'll be. And I choose life...

   Here I go again rambling, but hey, just my thoughts on its hamster wheel as usual. 

   I'm happy right now and staring out the window at that beautiful oak tree has me thinking about life and happy that I never gave up, cuz I would of missed out on some of the most beautiful moments in life...

   I'm in a state of mind of gratefulness and appreciation. My children who've grown into courage, beautiful brave adults, the man I've fallen in love with who shines a light so bright it lifts me up, hugs my heart and soul and makes me feel I can fly like a bird across the skies, to the moon, across the stars and beyond the universe. I'm blessed, I truly am and no matter what happens in life, even if the world crumbles around me, their love, their smiles, their embrace keeps me alive, keeps me striving, motivated, inspired...

    Enough blabbering for today, lol, time to get moving.

   ...I hope you smile today...