I'm laying here listening to the steady rain as it falls like a gentle kiss to the ground.

   It's soothing, comforting. Maybe not enough to help put me to sleep but I feel relaxed.

   It's after midnight, early morning and I'm wondering what the day ahead will be.

   I love the night rain. The world is asleep at 3 a.m. and it's quiet so all there is to listen to is the rain and nothing else. No loud voices outside your home, no traffic or horns beeping outside, nothing but the rain and I love it.

   If it wasn't freezing outside, I'd probably go stand in it for a while. And sometimes when I'm sad or frustrated, I like standing in the rain, but I'm not sad or frustrated, I just enjoy the rain, I enjoy the feeling of it on my skin.

   Sometimes once in a great while when there's a thunderstorm, and I haven't done it in a long while, but I'd lay in the grass, close my eyes and feel the thunder beneath me along with the rain.

Some people would think that was weird, but so what, I like what I like and I don't care if it's weird or not.

   I've always loved thunderstorms. Years ago, I used to think about studying storms, maybe go into photography and take pictures of storms, how the skies looked and how the lightning made designs across the sky, but didn't really get into it. I found writing is something I love to do more. 

   I love reading too. Haven't really sat and read a book in a while, but I get those moods where I don't read for a long while before I end up reading again. 

I binge read books back to back for a while then I take a break for a while cuz I'm just not feeling it.

   I'm still planning on finishing a book one of these days and getting it published. But at the moment I'm taking a break because even though I've heard plenty of writers mention pushing through, writing even when you don't feel like it, that's just not me. I'm not gonna write when I'm not feeling it. If I write, no matter if it's a story, lyrics or poems, I wanna write when my heart's in it. I don't feel there's any other way.

   I'm not gonna just throw something out there just to say I wrote it or just to say I finished it if I'm not truly feeling it. I wanna feel everything I write, simple as that.

   I have been looking into the publishing process, self publishing vs traditional publishing and I've talked with a few online author friends and their experiences with both. I'm still on the fence on that on which way I wanna go. Plus, I want to be more knowledgeable and have the information and understand the process of both fully beforehand. I'm not gonna just jump into something without fully knowing what it's about.

   But what I know for sure is, it's something I want to do and when I wanna do something, I'm gonna do it, but I'm taking my time. 

   ...Listening to the rain...


   I love it. Sometimes it helps ease me to sleep, but it's one of those nights I'm probably not gonna sleep. Insomnia sucks a pair of rotten moldy overgrown hairy balls.

I crave sleep, but my eyelids feel like they're glued open and my mind is running like a hamster at full speed spinning around the hamster wheel like its life depended on it. 

Oh well, maybe I'll be able to sleep tomorrow night, well should I say tonight since it's going on 4 a.m., so technically it's today.

   I'll end it here. Maybe I'll write for a while or just lay here and continue to enjoy listening to the rain.

   Goodnight/good morning, I hope you smile today.