Sometimes sleep is a distant friend. You love it, but it lingers in the distance; close enough for you to slumber slightly, far enough for you to wake sooner than desired.
   Do you ever wake early on your days off from work and just think about life-what the day may hold? Sure we can have plans or no plans at all, but in that moment, the days hasn't begun and you have no idea what the day may bring.
   I think about days before when I woke up unaware of what was to come then think about how those days unfolded and even changed the course I'm on. You really never know do you.
   I also get to thinking about the present and what positive changes I need to make.
   I had a little too much wine last night, it happens, when you have nothing to do so your mind starts its slow dance of thoughts in your head until its pace quickens and you're like, what the hell, lol. Not very fun waking up to a headache, but my bad, my own fault.
   I started thinking about relationships, the push and pull of them, whether that be friends or lover. I think sometimes without even realizing it, we can push too much on people because we enjoy being with them, but I think it's a good idea to pull back as well and give opportunity for others to join you. If that makes sense. I will never let myself chase people again. Either they're cool with me or I'm going to say bye & wish them well. I really don't have time for any bullshit in life or playing second fiddle to a number of instruments. No one should. Caring is holding on, but caring is letting go when needed too.
   Sometimes we need to be selfish for ourselves, put ourselves first and use the off times to be alone with ourselves and create our own joy. Although it's a beautiful thing when others bring us joy, we must learn to find joy within ourselves so that when we are alone, we're not really alone. 
   ...I choose me today...