Today was a really shitty day. 😒

   I went off on a person on the phone, no doubt the asshole deserved it, but I don't like going off on people, it doesn't really feel good.

   Came home and took a long shower or mainly until the water ran cold which really isn't that long. Kinda felt like another fuck you from the long ass day.

   Tried to make light of the day joking around through text with my boyfriend this evening, probably went overboard, lol, kinda do when I just wanna laugh. More as if he's laughing or smiling, so am I. I just wanna laugh or at least smile after today. 

   I've had shit days, no biggy, but today just felt really shitty, just one thing after another hitting me at once today and it was just nonstop and I'm drained to my bone from people, from work, just from the bullshit...

   I just wanna smile for a little while before tomorrow begins

   But I'm telling myself, tomorrow's gonna be a good day. At least I'm determined to make it a good day.

   At least I don't have to be in before the ass-crack of dawn, but I hate closing. I have a closing shift the next 3 days in a row before I'm off. I'd love an 8 to 5 or a 9 to 6 shift daily, but my shifts are all over.

   At the moment I'm watching my daughter's cat stick his paw underneath my bedroom door, lol, it slides under slowly like, "Hey human, let me in!", then slides out then slowly slides back under. Cats are weird. Cats are assholes too. 

   I used to have cats and a dog, but don't anymore. 

   I miss having a dog. My dog was the sweetest asshole, he'd knock everything over, but he was a cuddler. Although when he was young, he used to bite the fuck outta me. He'd latch his teeth to the back of my ankle and flatten out legs and all like a pancake as I'd end up having to drag his ass along, lol.

   As he got bigger, his ass started dragging me. Hell, I'd take him for walks and hope he wouldn't see anything he'd wanna run after cuz as soon as he did, *YANK* my ass would get jerked forward and a lot of times dragged. Not fun. But I loved the big lug.

   I taught him to sit, shake paws, lay down and was working with him to roll over, but lost him to my ex. Now he spends his days in a cage most of the time. Last time I saw him visiting my sons, he was all dirty and unbrushed which pissed me off, but nothing I can do. He's not mine anymore.

   I think dogs are cooler than cats. You come home to a cat, it looks at you like, what the fuck you looking at, where's my food?, Lol, but a dog, you come home and it's all excited wagging its tail happy to see you.

   But dogs take a lot of time and upkeep and if they're big dogs, they need lots of exercise which my apartment doesn't have, plus my daughter's cats and a dog wouldn't work.

   Maybe one day. And when I do, first place I'm going is to a shelter to bring one home cuz so many get dumped there or left behind.

   ...One day...

   I wouldn't mind getting a house in the country, not too far out, hell I don't wanna travel just to get groceries, but I'd love to at least be in a peaceful area with trees and maybe some chickens, even though chickens are assholes, they are, but I kinda like them, lol. I'd like a few goats, no more than 2 dogs, a couple of parrots so I can teach it curse words, lol, plus they're beautiful birds, I'd love to ride a horse. Don't know if I'd want one, but I think they're beautiful animals. I'd love to finally be able to touch one. As for pigs, hell naw, pigs can fuck off, those things are creepy as fuck! Now I admit the little baby ones are kinda cute, but those big huge ones look like they'd bulldoze you over and smother the life out of you while eating your face alive. *Shivers at the thought* Plus they stink so bad. Naw, and their eyes, it's like they're plotting something. And that squeal they make, that sounds like some kind of scream from the exorcism or something, nawwww, pigs are creeeeeepy! No thanks!!! I'd love a little pond with ducks and turtles and frogs and plant a willow tree next to the pond and I really don't know if willow trees and oak trees can be planted close to each other, but I'd love both. I'd love a garden, one area for flowers and another area for some vegetables. 

It's a cool thought. I don't need nothing fancy, just homey. If that makes sense.

But, home isn't a home unless there's love in it, so I really don't care where I live, my home will always be where my heart is and I must say, he's incredibly beautiful...

   My stomach keeps making weird noises, lol, I'm sure that's such an interesting topic, but I'm bored.

Come to think of a dumb funny moment, I remember one time I kept hearing this little growling rustling noise and it was a quiet day and I kept asking my youngest son, "You hear that right?" and I kept looking around like a dumbass trying to see where it was coming from while my son just looked at me until I sat down and just looked at him telling him I give up and then realizing it was my stomach growling and he bursted out laughing at me cuz really, how dumb could I be, lol! Dumb moments 101🤣 

   I miss my son right now. What's sad is he's right here in the same city, but can't see him tonight and don't know when the next day he'll get to visit. 😒

   Think I'm gonna end it for now and maybe watch some TV or find something to occupy my mind. My mind wants to do its hamster wheel thing and I really don't wanna start thinking to be honest. I kinda wanna keep my thoughts positive and just smile. End the day with a smile...

   Until next time, I hope you smile...