Today's just one of those days when I'm not feeling my best. 
   It's one of those days I'm feeling off, like I feel like shedding some tears, but hold it in cuz I have to go to work and even though I really don't wanna be around customers and people there in general, I have no choice.
   I'm just tired of the environment full of bullshit there and it feels like I'm suffocating and at a standstill.
   Feels like there's no improvement for me there, or mainly I'm not given the opportunity for improvement such as others have there. 
   It's all about favoritism there....
   It's just the repeat of the same bullshit going in day in and day out and I'm lost in their wads of trash accumulating beneath their feet.
   It's like the dandelion lost in between the fields if roses, tulips and lilies. Yet, never will I want to be anything other than the dandelion because I don't wanna be like anyone else or be made to be moulded into anyone's expectations. I won't be a Lilly because anyone wants me to be.
I'm not gonna brown-nose or kiss anyone's asses to succeed.
   Just feels like I'm being taken advantage of and I have no choice unless I risk losing my job and I need this job...
   I feel like my life's revolved around this job with no airway.
   And the only thing that's keeping me smiling throughout my days is the love of my life.
   But today I'm just feeling like I'm down, I don't feel like smiling and I'm holding in my tears.
I hate this feeling...
I hate feeling off, alone and hiding from the world behind a fake smile which is taking more energy to give than not...
   I just don't feel ok today.
   But it is what it is and tomorrow's another day...
   Guess I just needed to unload. I don't have anything else to say.
   Until next time, smile for me...