Sitting in my thoughts this morning before work enjoying a cup of coffee just thinking about life.

   I have a few friends I've known online for years that I talk to once in a while from time to time that I never met in person, except one a few years ago. The one friend I got to meet who I'd known for quite a few years is from Sweden and her and her friends came to tour the U.S. and I finally got to meet her in person when she passed by my area. It was pretty cool and hopefully one day she'll come to the states again.

   Another friend of mine online I've known her and her son for quite some years and they're really awesome kind people who've been through a lot. I've posted about her son on my Instagram a while back who has CVID (Common Variable Immune Deficiency) who's been through a lot, but he's a strong kind human being, a fighter and inspiring. He's super awesome and takes no shit and I'm super happy to see him married to the love of his life and pics posted of him and his lovely husband together.

His mom is a courageous woman, kind, strong, a fighter herself and is the kind of mom that would go to war for her children if need be. She is so full of love for her family and you can see it in the way she talks about them, in her posts, in her pics with her and her kids and her hubby. 

   And I've had her and her family in my thoughts recently because they've had a tough ride recently. I won't say what because it's not my business to tell, but things are looking up for them now, but it's just the strength this family has and the love they have for each other and the way they come together in times of need. 

   Just has me thinking about life. We're here for a short period of time. Yea, we may live for years, but you never know if tomorrow's the last. We're in a constant state of work work work, want want want, must must must, but in the end, if we died tomorrow, what would we have really? 

  Of course rent and bills need to be paid, we need food, duh, but are we working to survive or are we working to obtain?

   I like nice things, who doesn't, lol, although I'm not materialistic, I could care less for name brand shit, if I like something, I like it, if I don't, I don't. But, I don't need 5 of something, etc. I don't need a huge home or a fancy car. Wouldn't mind a nice car, I have one in mind I've always wanted, but it's not my priority, if I get it, I get it, if I don't, I'm not gonna cry over spilled milk, I'm happy with what I have, grateful. 

   The thing is, I don't wanna spend my life working myself to death and miss out on the people I love, miss out on life. I don't wanna struggle either. 

   It's tough though, because some people have no choice but to bust their asses day in and day out just to survive. But then there's some who have a choice and they miss out because they want want want.

   I never want to get to a point in my life where I want want want. If that be the case, you're pretty much already walking dead cuz if obtaining items, the next best thing is your priority or buying things to show off, then you're working for others, not yourself, you're not alive, you're not living because true life is love, true living is the people in your life, family, the people you love, the smiles, the laughter...

   ...Work can be stressful. Yea, I go to work and at times have some laughs with some coworkers, but it's not the same as laughing with my children or laughing with my boyfriend. Laughing with my children hit on a whole different level of happiness as well as when I'm with my boyfriend, a different more intimate happier level with him. And I wouldn't give that up for the world. Not a million billion bucks. Fuck that. They are my life, my heart.

   I'd been working overtime lately, except this week, this week I've just been working my regular hours cuz I've just felt drained and tired. But I'd been going in on my off days, except one out of the week and it was just work work work and it felt good, but at the same time it didn't, I just felt like I wasn't really happy in a way. Sure, my paycheck was better, but I was missing out on my children being able to come visit cuz I'd get off too late or my off day would be on a day they couldn't come and me and my boyfriend work that we barely get much time together except for maybe an hour to a few hours at night. But I cherish every minute and am grateful for be whatever time we get 

   That's why Sunday night when we had a lovely night together and spending the full day Monday felt so good, it had been so long since we had a full day together. And I hope we have a full day soon together and more often. 

   Work seems to become our priority in life and it has to because we do have bills and food we need and such, but I just don't want it to take over to a point where I miss out on the people I love because they're my life. 

And if tomorrow was my end and I had nothing at all, having them, I have everything because love is all I'll ever need and want...

You see, I don't need the world or anything in it, I could care less because my children and my boyfriend who's an incredibly beautiful man, they are my world, so I already have the world, their love, so my heart is full and I need or want for nothing else except their happiness and well being and to spend as much time with them as possible.

   ...Until next time, I hope you smile...