I took my dog for a long walk late last night. Up and down the streets, just kept walking until my legs got tired and my feet hurt.
   No doubt my dog loved it. I needed the air and the quiet of the night. I was a lil tipsy, but more relaxed than anything, not drunk. No where near it, just in a mellow state. I love the night, the peacefulness of it. No people out, no noise, just sky and ground and your thoughts. 
   My thoughts were rolling as usual, just everywhere like a cloud, a breeze pushing through every direction. 
   I just wanted to be somewhere other than my apartment. It was nice, just walking, just thinking.
   Some moments I felt like crying, other moments I felt a smile lift, just my thoughts were up and down and all over.
   A friend of mine from work sent me a song and I listened to it for a while on repeat, the lyrics speaking, resonating. Just made me think even more. It's like she knew I needed to hear that song in the moment. Funny how that works, random things, random moments...
   Sitting on my break at work and I just wanna walk home, home to what doesn't feel like home. I just wanna shut myself in my room and put my earbuds in and shut the world out for a while. But I can't, I need the hours, so I'll push through today feeling suffocated by work and the crowd of people all around.
It's just one of those days you just want to be away from strangers.
   It's draining...
   I feel like I can't have a moment of feeling down, it's I always have to be the strong one, the one standing tall, like it's expected of me.
   And trust me, I know I have strength in me, but some days I'm just down and I could use some uplifting, held, comforted and even hear that it's ok not to be strong every day...
   But, I'll push through another day, tomorrow's a new day. I'm off the next couple days so I'll get a breather from work and I'll figure it out...
   I already know what I want in life, but you can't expect anyone else to want the same and I never hold expectations of anyone or anything. I flow with life. Whatever happens, happens and what doesn't, doesn't. I'm just living life...
   Break time's up. I'm done talking anyhow.
    If anything, smile, smile just because.
   Maybe I'll find my smile today...
   If I don't, hey, there's always tomorrow...