It's been a while since I wrote. Life's just been on it's rollercoaster ride, but I feel like it's starting to go up now.
   Things are looking up...
   I took the steps for myself to stop drinking and I'm doing good so far. My mind's set on staying sober. I really don't wanna spend my drinking and missing out, forgetting moments, not being present and feeling like shit. 
We could be here today and gone tomorrow, we never know and I don't wanna waste it drowning in alcohol and not being fully present.
   And this time I'm not gonna say, "I can't say I'll never drink again", cuz that leaves room for the excuse of falling back again. What I will say is, I'm determined to stay sober, I'm determined to live being fully present taking nothing and no one for granted.
   I just wanna be happy, love and be loved and I am. Life will always have it's challenges, but I know with the support from those I love who love me, I can get through anything as well as they have me too.
   You know, I have this saying from a fortune cookie I keep in my phone case, "Fall down seven times, stand up and eighth time". I kept it cuz the words are meaningful. No matter how many times you fall, get back up. I keep that quote as a reminder to never give up and to always remember that no matter what life throws, I've got this.
   Funny how something so simple as a quote from a fortune cookie can be inspiring, but inspiration drives motivation and motivation makes you strive.
   There's other things that inspire me, like the trees, quotes, the man I love, etc. It's wonderful to be inspired...
   ...I miss my love right now... 
   Past couple nights I haven't slept well having multiple vivid nightmares and I'd turn over to where he usually sleeps next to me and I wished he was there so I could cuddle up to him and feel his warmth and comfort. Instead I turned the other way and stuffed all the pillows around me just to feel a little bit better and squished in like I was cuddled. I miss him, but I know I'll see him soon. Today's the day and I can't wait to wrap my arms around him. 🥰
   ...He truly is my "At Last"... 
   My home...
   I need to get my lazy ass up and water my flowers outside.
Ewww the blazing heat of the day as soon as I open that door is gonna hit my skin and fry me like an albino chicken without breading dipped in frying oil, *cluck-clu-UUUUCK!* ☀️🐔🔥🍗
   Anyhow, today my mindset is it's gonna be a good day...
   Until next time, I hope you smile...